You might be wondering:
What does renewing your mind even look like?
Simply put, renewing your mind looks like being transformed, developing a new character, and becoming a new version of yourself.
This transformation starts by changing the way you think: noticing your thought life, creating goals for your thoughts, managing your thoughts, limiting your thoughts, and building new trains of thought.
Renewing your mind is an internal process that has external rewards. You can see these changes in so many domains of life: relationships, business, ministry, faith, family, etc.
You renew your mind by taking advantage of all the ways your brain learns new things; by being consistent in redirecting your thoughts and building new neuropathways. You can also learn how to renew your mind by exposing yourself to good examples, practicing positivity, keeping track of your progress, and asking for support when you need it.
I’m going to use a season of my life to give an example of what it looked like to “renew my mind” in the area of family relationships.
There have been multiple seasons in my life where renewing my mind needed to become a focus for me. Especially as I was walking into adulthood.
It wasn’t until I had become pregnant that I realized the toxicity of so many of my behaviors when it came to my siblings. I’m the oldest and I was becoming very protective of them. Very involved. I freely and recklessly spoke my mind hoping that they would take the advice I was giving when they weren’t asking.
I took on their burdens and their business as if they were my responsibility.
I thought inserting myself into everything would somehow keep things from going wrong.
In the years that followed us all leaving the house, I realized that nothing I was doing was effective. I saw that it did not change outcomes or prevent their pain. I saw that it was not making a positive difference. It was actually damaging my relationships with my siblings and creating more distance and less trust.
Out of disappointment, anger, and frustration, I was just becoming… mean, judgmental, and impatient with them. Getting to the point without giving much grace for making mistakes.
When I became pregnant, I felt like God was guiding me through a process that required me to let go. To release them, in a sense. To forgive the people that hurt them. To give space and be very slow to speak. I put boundaries in place that would protect them because I put boundaries in place that would protect me.
I can kind of compare it to a mental or emotional version of nesting, creating a space where I could focus my energy on my baby and being a healthy person and a healthy mom.
I’ve been able to look back years later and see that I’ve changed in how I handle those relationships. But going through it was still a very painful and kind of frustrating process. It was one I don’t think I would have been able to get through effectively without God parenting me through it.
In order to change the way I spoke and behaved, I needed to change the way I thought. Instead of fighting for my way, I searched for common ground and compromise. To resist the urge to intervene, I became intentional about minding my business, which also preserved some of my own peace. Instead of giving them an earful, I prayed for them.
If you’re wondering how to start the process of renewing your mind, I’d recommend you start by thinking about the areas in your life that could use the most growth. Then, invite the Holy Spirit into that space and ask Him to help you.
I can guarantee you that God wants to be a part of that process.
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
romans 12:2
How does renewing your mind start?
Renewing your mind starts with a couple of basic steps.
The first thing you have to do is take some time to be “conscious.” Practice being aware of your thoughts. Practice being aware of the direction your thoughts tend to go.
This can be hard to do sometimes because we tend to think quickly and somewhat instinctively. (We’re talking milliseconds here.) Our brains don’t usually like processing, thinking slowly or deliberately, or deeply-considering things. Our brains like thinking quickly and easily. So this step alone is hard work.
Some tips to help include:
- writing your thoughts down on paper and journaling
- thinking “out loud”
- changing the speed you think by “thinking as though you were talking to yourself”
- scheduling time to think or creating routines for thinking
The next step is to know what you’re going after. Know what goals you have for your mental-emotional health. Know what goals you have for your relationships. What character traits, what habits, and what actions do you want to see happening in your real everyday life?
Knowing this will help inform your decisions about the changes that need to happen in your mind and in your heart.
What does it mean to renew your mind?
Renewing your mind basically means changing the way you think. But from a faith-based perspective, it also goes a little further than that. Romans 12:2 in the GW Translation says: “Change the way you think. Then you will always be able to determine what God really wants – what is good, and pleasing, and perfect.”
When we partner with the Holy Spirit in this process, renewing our minds actually allows us to gain discernment. It introduces us to a process that allows us to think like Jesus. How cool is that?
And there are some practical implications to that, right? If we’re changing the way we think, we have to have some sort of standard for edifying our thought life.
This, of course, starts with a heart posture that says yes, a heart posture that is open and receptive to the process: even when we don’t necessarily want to and even when it’s not easy.
If we’re renewing our minds with the goal and the intention of thinking like Jesus, it will have to involve knowing Him. Knowing how thinks by knowing how He speaks. Becoming familiar with His word and His ways. That’s a huge step in and of itself. One of the most fundamental ways we get to know God as God, God as a Father, as our savior, as our counselor, as the lover of our souls… is through His word, through the Bible.
Getting into that text helps us grow in our understanding of Him, His character, His attributes, and so much more.
Renewing your mind is a process. It will take time. It will take practice. It will take discipline.
“Change your thinking, change your life.”
Ernest helmes
How do we know if what we’re doing to renew our minds is working?
The number one way to know if your mind is being renewed is if you start to notice real transformation. The phrase in Romans 12:2 says you allow God to transform you and change you into a new person by changing the way you think.
Transformation will take time. The steps you take to renew your mind will need to be steady and consistent. It’s going to take months and maybe even years to notice a big difference. Contrary to what you may have heard, there is no set amount of time or discipline that you will be guaranteed to see results.
Commit to the process. So, moment by moment, take time to notice and appreciate when you’ve made even small changes in your thinking.
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
lao tzu
Although this is nice to know, don’t get caught up in the big task of being a changed person. The idea can feel overwhelming. Focus on each step you’re taking in your journey. All those little moves matter.
Peace is another sign that what we’re doing to renew our minds is working.
In the season I shared with you, when I was the overbearing older control-freak sister, I knew that my behavior was coming from what I thought was a good place at the time. I was trying to look out for my siblings. I was trying to protect them and fight for them. Carrying their burdens stressed me out. It was emotionally draining… we’re not supposed to carry other people’s loads as though they were our own all of the time.
I’ve found that peace is a nice little reward of your mind truly being renewed, and its biblical!
Keep your thoughts on whatever is right or deserves praise: things that are true, honorable, or commendable. Practice what you’ve learned and received from me, what you heard and saw me do. Then the God who gives this peace will be with you.
phillipians 4:9
10 Practical and Spiritual Tips for Renewing Your Mind
1) Practice positive affirmations.
We can be hardwired to be negative. It’s called a negativity bias.
“It takes five positive things to outweigh a single negative thing” in our minds.
Affirmations are kind of like self-talk. And what you tell yourself matters.
Having positive affirmations doesn’t mean that you have to be in denial about how difficult your life is. You don’t have to lie to yourself. Say things aloud or say things mentally that feel true to you. If this is done right, it can be a very healthy coping strategy. Here are some examples:
- The way I’ve been doing things in my relationships is not working. It’s not healthy. This change does not come naturally to me and letting go of this illusion of control is uncomfortable. But I’m going to do it anyway. I know it’s what’s best for me and it’s what’s best for them.
- All I know right now is that I want to do better but I don’t know how. I’m learning and experimenting and seeing what works for me. It’s okay that I’m figuring out how to do things differently and learning what my boundaries are.
Did you know that there’s a relationship between what you believe and what you say?
There’s a verse that says: “What you say flows from what is in your heart.” Affirmations are one of the ways you can lead your heart in what is good and what is true.
Your words are so powerful that they will kill or give life…
Proverbs 18:21
2) Practice gratitude.
You know there’s actually scientific evidence for the positive effects of gratitude on the brain?!
Gratitude can encourage the production of neurotransmitters like serotonin, which helps regulate attention and behavior, and dopamine, which helps with movement, memory, and motivation. Both of these neurotransmitters help your brain and body feel good.
Gratitude isn’t just the brief expression of thankfulness or gratefulness for something. It can be a characteristic or a quality of always being ready to find something to appreciate; actively looking for opportunities around you to recognize and acknowledge things that are good.
3) Keep track.
Another practical tip for renewing your mind is to keep track of several things that will help you achieve your goal. Write down the things you want to see changed. Write down what outcomes you want. Write down the relationships you want to see improved. Write what you’re doing differently. Reflect its effectiveness. A bullet journal might be something that comes in handy for this step.
4) Ask for support.
One of the most powerful resources you should have around you is people. If you’re ready to hear it, the feedback and constructive criticism of pastors, mentors, close friends, and family can be invaluable to you on your journey.
It can be very humbling and very insightful to hear those who know you best tell you a bit about yourself. Pick wise people and let them tell you how it is. (I’m not gonna lie, you might regret it.) BUT it’ll help you realize how important what you’re doing is. Renewing your mind is important. Humbling yourself is important. Allowing God to mold you and shape you is important.
Another reason why you want people around you is so that you can ask them for support. See what ideas they have that can help you be more effective. Ask them to check in with you and assess you and see if they’re noticing changes. Some transformations are able to be seen, others – at first – are unseen. Wise people will know how to notice both.
5) Expose yourself to examples.
This first recommendation may seem obvious and it does kind of partner with asking for support, but find people within your network who are good examples in the areas you want to improve in.
Find mature role models who are consistent with their lifestyle and do as they do. How do they communicate? What do they do when they’re stressed? What household routines do they have? How do they focus on their family? How do they handle conflict?
We can learn so much from observation and we can learn even more by asking questions.
Maybe you’re not able to say that you feel like you have a network of people you can count on… that’s okay.
Whether or not you do, you can also expose yourself to quality content. We have the benefit of the internet now-a-days. You can read books. You can listen to sermons or discussions or podcasts. You can attend events.
Don’t be so quick to be discouraged by that. There are tons of resources out there.
6) Learn to stop.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but did you know your thoughts are basically connections between neurons in your brain? And that phrase “a train of thought” is basically a neural pathway?
What you think and how you think is often an automatic or instinctual pattern. It’s all developed over time and the longer you spend thinking a certain thing or thinking a certain way, the more likely you are to continue that pattern over time.
Your brain does not like to work. Staying the same and thinking the same is the way your brain likes it. It requires the least amount of effort.
In the beginning of your journey to renew your mind, you don’t have to jump right into redirecting your thoughts and immediately replacing bad behaviors with good ones.
Start by stopping.
When you notice a triggered thought, a disrespectful attitude, negative self-talk or some other unhealthy habit you’re used to, make a quick decision to stop it. Don’t let yourself finish the sentence. Take the moment to breathe. Disagree with yourself.
When you’re starting out, this might take all your effort. And it’s like we all should know how to do: if you can’t say anything good, just don’t say anything at all.
Stopping is an excellent and powerful first step.
7) Redirect.
Once you’ve mastered the art of learning to stop certain thoughts, certain triggers, and certain behaviors, then you can move on to redirecting your thoughts. This is where you remember what your goals are.
Think about how you can replace the negatives with positives.
- What positive affirmations can replace negative self-talk?
- What intentional actions can you take to replace behaviors that were ineffective or unhealthy?
- What kind of preventative maintenance can you do to keep yourself on the right track?
Before you act, listen.
Before you react, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you criticize, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
William Arthur Ward
8) Be consistent.
Do some research on the outcomes you’d like to see happen in your personal life.
Make a plan to practice the changes you’d make to reach those goals.
Once you find the right resources to inform your decisions and you know you’re heading in the right direction, whether or not you see the results of the changes you’re making, keep at it and stay consistent.
Practice makes perfect and consistency is key!
9) Take advantage of all the ways your brain takes in new information.
Your mind and body take in information and create memories by engaging the 5 senses: sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste.
Learning to renew your mind requires that you train your brain. In a lot of ways, it is like learning something new altogether.
This process of learning is where your brain starts making connections and creating new neural pathways. The more ways you engage your brain to learn, the easier it becomes to create a new normal.
If you’re trying to create new behaviors, tapping into the five senses will help strengthen your neural pathways.
Here’s an example of something I used to do that can help you get an idea of what I mean.
In the mornings, before everyone got up, I had this little morning routine.
Sight and Sound: I would listen to and watch Sunday sermons that spoke on subjects I thought would benefit me spiritually.
Touch: I was often engaging in some kind of movement because I’d often exercise while listening. I’d jump rope. I’d walk back and forth. I’d run or dance or lift light weights.
The only thing I tasted in that couple of hours was water and I didn’t really do much to engage my sense of smell. But that’s still 3 out of 5 senses!
I was also doing a Bible reading plan during that season (listening to the audio Bible and looking at the screen as verses lit up) and even to this day, I believe I remember more Bible stories more profoundly and I know where to find them. I remember the verses that impacted me the most. I remember my reactions coming across some passages I’d never paid much attention to before.
So whether you’d like to think more Biblically, or create better coping skills for dealing with depression or anxiety, or whether you’d simply like to communicate differently in relationships, do as much as you can to stimulate as many senses as you can to “agree” with yourself. The more consistent and repetitive, the more likely it is going to become a habit.
10) Read the Bible.
Since this is a more faith-based post, I feel like I wouldn’t be doing it any justice if I didn’t mention this.
Once you’ve mastered being able to apply full-stop and you’re in the stage of redirecting your thoughts, I’d like to suggest that reading your Bible is going to be the most powerful tool to help you find truth, grace, correction, wisdom, and peace where you need it.
A spiritual implication of Romans 12:2 is first, that truly allowing God into our process will transform us and change the way we think. The second implication is that we should know Him. How can we know God’s good and pleasing and perfect will for us, if we don’t know Him? Knowing His will involves knowing His heart for us, His ways with us… all these things are in His word.
I encourage you to seek Him. Become familiar with Him. You’d be surprised all the ways He’s willing to speak to you and minister to your heart in this process.
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