You overthinking? Tired of being trapped in analysis paralysis?
Are you unsure? Has anyone simply come out and said “You’re overthinking this.” or “You’re thinking too much.”
If you find yourself thinking too much and feeling stuck, there’s a way to change that! Start by getting to know yourself better and be aware of your thoughts. When you notice that you’re overthinking, you can take a moment to pause and acknowledge your thought-life. This pause is a great first step that gives you the power to change your thinking behaviors over time.
While you’re taking that time to pause, try to look at things from a different angle or find a time apart to think more deeply about something later. If you’re wondering how to stop overthinking, it starts with these very small steps.
What’s normal and what’s not?
There is a valid difference between being thoughtful and overthinking.
To be thoughtful means to show “careful consideration,” according to Oxford Languages. It’s healthy and responsible. Being thoughtful is not bad. It’s not wrong.
Being intentional is important and it’s an essential part of growing in discernment and wisdom.
Thinking about your relationships, your family, your work, your school, your social life, your health, are all important. If you have a big decision to make, it’s not wrong to spend time thinking about what’s best.
What is overthinking?
Overthinking is when you’re thinking about something unnecessarily – often, too deeply or for an extended period of time. I’m going to give you the biggest indicator that you are overthinking;
It’s when your thoughts and feelings strongly contradict.
How do I know if I’m overthinking?
Usually the most efficient way to know you’re overthinking is if someone tells you. The people closest to you that tend to know you the best can usually point it out quickly.
In the beginning of this post, one of the first questions I asked was: “Has anyone simply come out and said it? Has anyone said you’re overthinking?”
If you’re an introverted thinker, it can be frustrating sometimes to naturally consider yourself a thoughtful person; a deep thinker. Sometimes people don’t understand that it’s an important character trait. It’s a trait that allows you to be wise, to make smart decisions, and see connections that others don’t.
But when someone very close to you says you’re overthinking, I would encourage you to listen. If you have a tight-knit circle, if you’re communicating with people who really “get” you, this observation can be one of the best indicators you use to gauge if you’re overthinking something or not.
There are some versions of overthinking that are more socially acceptable than others. In more extreme cases, overthinking can be caused by; related to; or a symptom of trauma, depression, anxiety disorders, and/or other mental health-related issues. Take some time to notice patterns, not just about your tendency to overthink, but specifically: take time to notice WHAT you’re overthinking about.
Overthinking might lead you to lose track of time, you might forget details and deadlines, or procrastinate. It can be hard to concentrate or get a task done. You may find that you’ve become anxious. Maybe your thoughts keep you up at night.
Sometimes people overcorrect their overthinking by choosing not to think about something at all or deciding things at the last minute. Sometime’s that can be reckless, so be careful with that.
8 Quick Signs You Are Overthinking
- YOU WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE.
- YOU DWELL ON THE PAST.
- PEOPLE TELL YOU YOU’RE OVERTHINKING
- YOU CONSIDER ALL THE OPTIONS, FROM ALL ANGLES, INCLUDING ALL OUTCOMES.
- YOU REPLAY MISTAKES OR CONVERSATIONS.
- YOU ASK “WHAT IF”.
- YOU CAN’T SLEEP.
- YOUR HAVE ANALYSIS-PARALYSIS AND ARE UNABLE TO MAKE DECISIONS.
- YOU HAVE THE SAME REPETITIVE THOUGHT PATTERNS.
- WHAT YOU FEEL AND WHAT YOU THINK, STRONGLY CONTRADICT.
When overthinking becomes a problem…
One simple answer is that overthinking becomes a problem when you are no longer able to take action. You are in a constant state of indecision.
It steals your time; keeping you from being present or resting. 10 minutes has now turned into 2 hours. What should have only been thought about for a moment has become a thing you ruminate over for days.
Overthinking also becomes a problem when it begins to negatively impact your emotional wellness.
And finally, overthinking becomes a problem, when other previously unaffected areas become affected.
So where does overthinking come from?
Are you ready for this?
FEAR. The root cause of overthinking is fear. Usually the fear of doing the wrong thing or making a mistake.
Sometimes it’s a way of overcompensating for the feeling that you are not in control. With yourself, with a person, with a relationship, with a life change, with a job. You can fill in the blank.
Sometimes people wrestle with the knowledge of what they want to do and what they should do and the cognitive dissonance is just to much for them to take any type of productive action.
What overthinking looks like for the Doers and the Planners.
The Doers (analytical thinkers) take in information from the present moment and feel that the present circumstance is the best indicator of their future. They’re more likely to overthink taking the step toward their decisions.
The Planners (critical thinkers) collect information from the past and the present and build it up to inform their next steps or more specifically, their goal. They’re more likely to overthink the uncertainty of future events, possibilities, outcomes, etc.
The subject someone is overthinking about could be as simple as the completion of a task, the pattern of a relationship, the flow of a conversation, or whether or not to attend a social event.
The primary reason why overthinking is a problem for either type is that the scenario usually does not warrant the amount of brainpower spent.
How To Stop Overthinking in 10 Powerful Steps
1. Don’t suppress your thoughts (or your feelings).
2. Call a friend.
If you’re trying to solve a problem, have someone share the load with you. Maybe they can see a solution you cannot.
Also, research suggests that talking out loud, and explaining a problem, might help you come up with a solution more efficiently.
3. Write something down.
Journal. Write things down in an authentic and safe space. Getting your thoughts on paper might have a similar effect of speaking to someone else.
Keep a notepad nearby to jot quick thoughts.
4. Get busy.
Replace thinking with an action: pray, exercise, read a book, watch a video, listen to music, take up a hobby.
This is particularly true when the overthinking you’re doing is unnecessary. It is possible to train yourself and to train your thoughts. It doesn’t have to be who you are.
To avoid analysis paralysis, take action. Sometimes we do the best learning by actually “doing.” If you’re spending a lot of energy trying to anticipate problems and pitfalls and it’s delayed your progress, it might be worth the risk to safely step out and see what sticks.
5. Make a Plan.
Focus on one problem and find a solution before moving to the next problem.
6. Set a time to think (with a limit).
Limit yourself. Give yourself permission to be thoughtful within certain constraints of time. Setting a time limit will force you to a point where you will have to say 1) “I will think about this later” and 2) “I’ve thought about this enough for today.”
This will give you a chance to prioritize what is most important at the moment.
7. Practice positivity.
Pray.
Recite positive affirmations.
Try breathing exercises.
8. Set reminders.
- To breathe.
- To be present.
- To be grateful.
- To let go of the illusion of control.
9. Pay attention to your thoughts.
Notice recurring thoughts and negative thought patterns.
Notice the difficult emotions attached to the way you think and perceive the world around you.
Redirect your thoughts
10. Try therapy.
There’s a chance there’s something deeper going on.
The reason why you may be tempted to think “OVERTHINKING IS GOOD.“
You know how I previously mentioned that overthinking’s foundation is fear? A form of overcompensating for the feeling that you are losing control?
Assuming the goal is to take a step forward:
- Doers will think overthinking is good because it gives them tools to do better in the future. They will think it justifies their present decisions.
- Planners will think overthinking is good because it provides them with evidence of their intuition. They will think it justifies their outlook of the future.
I’m convinced it’s all a defense mechanism. A way of attempting to preserve yourself when you’re dealing with challenging circumstances or emotions.
One of the most empowering things you can do for yourself is pinpoint where the fear is coming from. It will shed light on the areas where you are prone to overthink and instead of your thoughts managing you… you will manage your thoughts.
If you’d like more information regarding your personal growth journey and want some more practical information for step 3: Check out “How To Journal: For Beginners.”
