HOW TO BE A BETTER PERSON
Do you know what really inspires me about you right now?
As a blogger and podcaster, I do so much to make sure that the content I share with you is based on what YOU are looking for!
It inspires me that you are here right now! It inspires me that you are trying to be intentional about your self-growth and your self-development journey! It matters! It makes a difference!
When we’re talking about how to be a better person, we’re talking about a subject that is very unique, subjective, and arbitrary.
Being a “better person” is unique to you and where you are in your life at the moment. Being a “better person” is based on your personal beliefs, values, opinions.
If I’m sharing what it means to be better with you, I’m sharing it understanding that there is no one right way. There is no system. It’s the inside-out journey that makes the steady transformation real!
We decide what it means to be a better version of ourselves.
But I know the tips I’m giving on this topic could benefit everybody!
So, based on my own life, my own learning experience, my own outlook, I’m sharing:
HOW TO BE A BETTER PERSON!
1. Know that you are the student of your own life.
When I was a kid, I thought that as I got older, I’d also get wiser. You know how the saying goes. I thought it would just happen. Now that I’m 25 and rounding up to 30, I’ve realized that no one really knows what they’re doing.
We’re all just winging it. Trying to figure things out on the way. Improvising.
Being the student of your own life means coming to terms with the idea that you won’t always know it all. You won’t always get it right.
We are all going to be (or we all should be) learning and growing and having firsts until the day we leave this earth. You will only ever be the expert of your own life.
It’s so important to have the teachable approach of a student when it comes to living life. One moment we have things figured out and the next we don’t.
My daughter is 1 1/2 and when she gets angry and upset sometimes I really have no idea how to teach her to release anger in healthy and constructive ways. Being a parent is the perfect example of a stage in life where we just figure things out along the way.
I didn’t know what being a college student was like until I went to college.
I didn’t know what marriage was like until I got married.
I didn’t know what motherhood was like until I became a mom.
And even still, womanhood, marriage, and motherhood come with diverse experiences for each woman on so many levels.
The point is, life gives us a lot of opportunities to learn by doing. So just having the teachable mindset will take off so much of the pressure we sometimes feel to have it all together.
2. Own your story.
So trendy of me to say, right? (lol) A lot of people, including me, say it often but I think a lot of people don’t actually know what it means and what it entails.
When you are owning your story, you are not comparing yourself to others. Little things that could be so standard for everyone else could actually be a miracle for you.
I could look at other people and say “I wish I was like them,” “I wish I was where they are,” “I wish I had what they have.”
When I was growing up, I had a really broken perception of home life. Even though we had a lot of problems at home, they made me stronger in my struggles today.
SAY THIS WITH ME:
“All the parts of my story and all the parts of who I am (the parts I might want to erase, undo, or do-over) have made me who I am today (weaknesses included). And I’m okay with that.”
3. Have your legacy in mind.
If you’re on this journey with me, you know that your today is better than your yesterday. All the positive changes you are making are setting the foundation for a better tomorrow. For your children. For your children’s children.
More people should be future-oriented in this way. Not to say that being present is less important, because it is. But I want to share this quote with you.
“Begin with the end in mind.”
Stephen covey
I can’t even begin to express how important it is to be intentional with your life. Know what you want. Know where you’re going. Know what you want to leave behind. Don’t live on accident.
4. Be humble AND confident.
I heard a quote listening to Kris Vallotton speak.
“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”
c.s. lewis
Confidence is being sure of yourself, your abilities, your potential. Humility is the pretty bow around the box of confidence that keeps you from becoming arrogant.
There’s a beautiful dynamic between humility and confidence.
5. Practice gratitude.
Gratitude is good for you.
Would you say that on a daily basis, you are actively ready to show appreciation for the good things around you?
I’m still working this one out myself. But the good news is, gratitude is a skill you can practice. You can work at it. It’s all about taking consistent moments to pause and be thankful for what you have.
6. Compete with yourself.
Competing with yourself will help cut out the comparison in its tracks!
I’m very competitive. I’ll admit it. So competitive a game of sequence will give me enough adrenaline to run a mile.
The only problem with being competitive is that I’m not good at everything! I’m also not usually “the best” or “number one.”
It doesn’t matter if its a board game or a basketball game or a fitness challenge. Losing… does something to my soul! (lol). Competing with other people can be pretty discouraging sometimes. Competing with myself, however, is very motivating! Especially when I’m keeping track of my progress.
To know that I was further along in my degree program than I was the year before.
To know that I was improving my performance as a rookie at work.
To know that I burned more calories than yesterday or drank more water.
To know that work brings results.
Competing with yourself can really keep you going.
This tip is useful for everybody (even for the people at the top). If you’re the best at what you do, competing with yourself will challenge you to exceed even your own expectations.
7. Normalize your flaws and understand your weaknesses.
Don’t get worked up about your flaws. Make them normal. Especially while you are working through them. You don’t have to be perfect.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re not going to change. It just means that you are in a process. So you know what we should do?
Apologize!
Scary, huh…
I have no idea why apologizing is so hard. It might be because it requires humility. It could be because apologizing requires us to look in the mirror and turn on ourselves in some way.
The more we practice (the more normal and commonplace we make the whole thing), the better off we and our loved ones will be for it.
I found a woman on TikTok and Instagram @afterhourswithamanda and she said: “Apologies matter. Ego’s don’t.”
Get into the habit of apologizing when you know that you’ve messed up. Be okay with the truth that your flaws make you beautiful (in a remarkable way). And accept the idea that you are in an ongoing process.
This step does not need to take a heavy emotional toll on you.
There are several personality tests I believe can come in handy when it comes to understanding your weak spots. These tests usually lay out your strengths and weaknesses in a very simple and straightforward way. Here are a couple recommendations:
8. Give 100% in everything you do.
2020 was an exceptionally hard year for me. Physically. Emotionally. Circumstantially. Mentally. I had a lot going on at home as a stay-at-home wife and mom while student-teaching kindergarteners virtually. Teaching and learning at the same time create the worst case of imposter syndrome. My step-father had a stroke, then my grandmother (right after my step-dad passed away).
I was actively fighting a depressed mood. Trying to feel it, ignore it, and contain it. But eventually, it started affecting my performance, and once that started happening I became anxious about what else I would get wrong.
Seems like a bunny trail.
I know.
But it’s not.
I would beat myself up all the time. “How could you forget?” “How are you so tired?” “What did you do today besides ‘the minimum?'” “You used to do more.” “You used to do it better.”
All the questions were valid.
But, you know what really mattered? And what really matters to me still?
What matters is that I know I gave my absolute best; feeling like I had nothing and giving everything. As a woman, as a Christian, as a wife, as a mom, as a student, as a daughter, and as a friend.
Depending on the day, your 100% could be as big as a house or as small as a penny. Give 100% either way.
9. Value the people in your life.
Value your neighbors, your friends, your community, and your network. BUT if you’re looking for a great place to start, I would say especially value the people in your home. Prioritize them. Love on them. Listen to them. Surprise them. Honor them. Forgive them.
Ascribe value in the relationships that you have and foster and steward those well.
10. Make a difference.
Make a difference where you are. Be generous. Acknowledge what your values are. Making a difference doesn’t have to look the same for everybody.
Some people might like hanging out with seniors.
Some people might like giving food and clothes to the homeless.
Some might like giving money to non-profit organizations or charities.
Some people might like being hospitable and inviting people to their homes.
Others might like donating their services.
Whatever it looks like for you is what you should do. Don’t get stuck in the comparison trap and think that you have to serve your community a specific way. Find the way that matches your values, your talents, your skills, and make a difference where you are.
I really believe these tips will equip you and inspire you to be a better person.
Here’s some bonus content!
When we’re talking about “how to be a better person” what we are really asking is “how can I become a better version of myself.” We all have such unique self-growth journies so I understand that the concept of “bettering” can be very abstract.
So, to make this more real (and “make it make sense”), I thought I’d share some personal characteristics I want to be described as. It gives me a clear vision of the person that I want to be. I want people to know me this way. These are GOALS!
- I want to be able to love long and love well. Loving others includes loving myself.
- I want to have joy. Joy is consistent.
- I want to have peace. I don’t want to be stressed out all the time.
- I want to be patient, gentle, and kind with others, with the ones I love, but I also want to be patient with myself.
- I want to keep track of what’s going on in my heart and in my mind and I want to make sure that it’s good. I want to make sure my intentions and my behaviors are good.
- I want to be faithful to myself, to my family, to my commitments, to my ambitions, to my values, and to my faith.
- I want self-control. I want to be wise with my actions; wise with my decisions. I want to have discernment.
If you made it this far I want to thank you so much. I hope you feel more empowered and I hope you leave knowing that growth is possible for you.
One step at a time.
